Episode 43: For The Ones Who Live In Between
In this episode I share a different perspective on the in-between space. I share my own unique journey to recognizing that one of my unique gifts is being made up of multitudes. If you’ve never felt like you belong in one space or group, I encourage you to explore what it might feel like to be a permanent resident of the in-between.
Episode Details
Summary
In this episode, I’m exploring the in-between from a different perspective. Usually, I talk about it as a temporary season of transition, that liminal space between who you were and who you are becoming. But lately, I’ve been wondering what it means to be someone who simply lives in the in-between.
Maybe you have never felt like you fit neatly into one group, identity, culture, career, or place. Maybe you move easily between different communities, hold multiple perspectives at once, or feel connected to both the physical world and something beyond it. Maybe being in between is not a temporary experience for you, but part of who you are.
I share how this shows up in my own life, from being a multi-passionate creative to having a rich dream life, moving between cultures, and feeling deeply rooted in the Pacific Northwest while still carrying a strong connection to Paris. These different parts of me do not always fit neatly together, but I am learning that maybe they do not need to.
This episode is also about the gift of being able to hold multitudes. Living between worlds can sometimes feel lonely or difficult to explain, but it can also create the ability to see from many perspectives, connect across differences, and bring stories and experiences back to others.
I also reflect on the importance of finding spaces where we feel seen. Sometimes simply being around people who understand the complexity of living between identities can create a profound sense of belonging.
This is an invitation to consider whether you might be an in-between person too. Someone who does not fit into one box, who carries more than one world inside of them, and who may be learning that this complexity is not something to solve. It may be one of your greatest gifts.
This episode is for you if…
You’re someone who feels like they span multiple worlds at once
You’ve always identified as being a chameleon and don’t feel like you fit into any one place or group
You’re ready to embrace your unique energy and learn how to show up just as you are
You keep making yourself smaller to fit into spaces and are ready to break free
You identify as being a loner and are ready to finally create a sense of belonging for yourself
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Welcome to The Shoreline, where we explore the tender in-between seasons of the human experience. My name is Kim, and I'm here to support you as you navigate your next becoming. Here, we don't fix, we listen. We don't rush, we allow. Hello and welcome. If you're new here, I'm so happy you've made your way to The Shoreline, and if you're returning, welcome back. I'm so glad that you're here. So today, I want to talk about the in-between space from a slightly different perspective. I've mostly been talking about the in-between in terms of being in an in-between season of life, a state of transition or transformation. So kind of letting go of where you've been, not really knowing where you're going next and feeling like you're in this liminal in-between space. But today, I want to speak about the in-between more as a permanent state of being. So sometimes it can be a temporary state of being based on the situation that you find yourself in, your life circumstances. But then I really feel that there are people in this world who are kind of permanent in-betweeners, and maybe this resonates for you. Maybe it doesn't. But I just wanted to take some time to explore this. And what I really see as someone who is more of a permanent in-between person, it's this ability to be able to straddle two worlds. Or maybe you're someone who really has never had a core friend group, but you really tend to kind of float around to different groups of people, and you have a diverse group of friends to choose from. Or maybe you're someone who, if you were to gather all of your friends together in a room, they may not know each other, and they may know different sides of you. And that's definitely how I identify. It's this ability to be almost chameleon-like, where you can kind of assimilate and blend into any situation. It could also be that you straddle two worlds in the sense that you're here in the physical world, but then you also dive into the non-physical. Maybe you have a really rich dream life. Maybe you're on a deeply spiritual journey that connects you to the other side. Maybe you're a channeler, and you're straddling two different worlds in that sense. And I think that these qualities are really special. Or maybe you're someone who grew up kind of in multiple cultures. Maybe you are multi-ethnic, and you don't feel like you fit into one box. And just generally, I would say that if you resonate with this idea of being kind of a permanent in-between person where you're constantly straddling multiple worlds, it's really that feeling that you don't really fit into one box. Maybe you're a multi-passionate creative. That's what I've spoke about before, of like your career isn't really identifiable by one singular title. And I think this ability to be kind of permanently in the in-between and to see all different perspectives is so special and unique and so needed in this world. And I don't think that it's talked about enough. And I think that it can be a hard place to find yourself in if you're someone who's kind of on the shoreline and you can see the water and the beach and where they meet and you have that higher perspective. It can feel lonely. And I just want to bring light to this space and just to let you know that you're not alone and I'm right there with you. And I think that it's hard to explain who I am, what I do, how I feel, because I'm constantly being pulled in different directions. I think I've mentioned this before, about having a really rich dream life, and I'm traveling in my dreams and having experiences and getting to see loved ones. And then I wake up and I'm in a whole different world and they both feel equally valuable and sometimes equally real. Sometimes that boundary kind of gets blurred for me, and it can be really, really confusing. But I think it's really special to be able to see multiple perspectives and to get to experience different flavors of life, if you will. And so I'm wondering if maybe you might find yourself in this place as well of not necessarily being in an in-between space, but being more of an in-between person. And what do you make of it? I'm curious, like, what your experiences have been like. Have they been similar to what I've been sharing? Or maybe you have a totally different and unique perspective. And I wonder if there's space for in-between people to kind of come together and share their experiences. I think one of the most special traits of being this type of person is that you get to go off and explore and then come back and share your stories. I think another identifier of an in-between person is like, maybe you've never felt completely at home in one place and you don't identify with where you live, the culture you live in, the country you live in, and maybe you feel split between two different places, or maybe more than two different places. I feel that. I feel like part of me is always in France, in Paris, and I'm always wanting to go back there. And at the same time, I feel really grounded and rooted in the Pacific Northwest, and I love my home and the life that I'm building here. But there's still that yearning and that desire to explore that other part of me and to go back to Paris. Because when I go there, I connect with a part of myself that feels almost dormant when I'm here. And that can be really confusing or just challenging to navigate that feeling of not quite fully fitting in and it's not for lack of trying or it's not for lack of shared experiences. It's really just this capacity to hold multitudes and to be straddling two worlds. And so there's no real, I don't want to say point, but I don't have like a here's a problem, here's a solution. This is something that's been on my mind over the last few weeks. And I realized that I hadn't talked about the in-between space in this way. And I think that kind of exploring being a multi-passionate creative really, really unlocked something inside of me. And I started to think about this and to wonder what the other in-between people are feeling and what their, what their experiences are, and maybe what kind of support they're needing. So I'd always love to hear from you. If you feel compelled to share, you can always send me an e-mail. There's a contact form on my website, or you can send me a message on Instagram. I truly love to, to hear from you. And I would love to know what your experiences are as, as an in-between person. And maybe we can figure this out together, or at least have, have a place to, to share our experiences and to feel seen in a way that, we haven't before. I remember years ago, I took a writing class here, and it was for people who identify as being mixed race. And I showed up to that class, and I just, something inside of me just felt so at home and seen in a way I never had before. And it was such a meaningful experience to me. And I hope that we can create a space. If you feel like you are kind of split between worlds, or you're permanently in an in-between space, maybe we can all come together. I'm not sure. But I just felt really called to share. And as I'm speaking with you today, the weather kind of feels like it's an in-between space. The sun is shining, but there's this really beautiful marine layer of fogginess kind of gliding through the trees and over the water. And I'm not able to see the mountains today. And it just feels really cozy and special. And so I really just felt like sharing that with you today. And I hope that you are doing well wherever you're at and that you're taking the time and space that you need to care for yourself. I think that there's a lot of heaviness in the air right now. And a lot of people in my life are feeling less optimistic than usual. And I just want to tell you that whatever you're going through, it's all going to be okay. And my focus this week is really to take care of myself and make sure that I'm putting myself first. And I want you to know that wherever you're at, you get to do that too. I know it can feel like you're being pulled in so many directions and that you need to maybe sacrifice your well-being to fit it all in. But really, it's so important to take a walk outside and to look at nature if you can and to take breaks because that's how we're really going to get through this. It doesn't serve anyone to be creating and to be living from a depleted place. And you need your resources to continue to move forward and take action. And so the best thing that we can do for ourselves is to prioritize our well-being. And that means finding opportunities for joy, for rest, for play, for connection. And it doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be as simple as just stepping outside and smelling the fresh air, or spending time with someone who really lights you up and who nourishes you. Or maybe it's just even giving yourself a cozy meal at the end of the day. Whatever it is, know that you are deserving of care and joy and community, and all of the good in life. And that we need that balance because life is hard, and the obstacles are going to keep showing up in our path. And it's really important to be well-resourced, so that when those obstacles arise, you can move through them. And this is as much for you as it is for me. I'm really learning this lesson of putting myself first and taking care of myself, and not falling into that self-sacrifice mode. So that's what I have for you today. I want you to know that if you are wanting to dive deeper into your own inner landscape, maybe you're wanting to explore what it means to be an in-between person in this world, or maybe you're going through a big transition, and you're just looking for some guidance and support. Know that I offer the Shoreline private coaching sessions. You can meet with me one-on-one every week with support available in between sessions. If that is something that you're interested in, you can find more information on my website, and I'll put the link in the show notes. And so I hope that you take good care while the waves carry you closer, and know that your next version is already waiting on the shore.
If you’re feeling stuck in the foggy middle and exhausted from having to always “figure it out” alone, I want to invite you to…
Explore The Shoreline Private Sessions to find aligned support as you navigate a significant life transition
Use this FREE intention setting worksheet to help you find your north star and get clear about your path forward
Learn about my favorite tool for self-reflection and uncover deep insights about yourself
Listen to this visualization when you want to invite more peace and calm into your life and use a somatic practice to come back to your body and the present moment
Kim Kogane is a writer and intuitive guide helping you navigate the tender in-between seasons. She lives in Seattle, Washington with her dog, Cauchy, and three cats. Learn more about Kim
