Finding Clarity in the Unknown + 5 Tips to Help You Get Unstuck
Feeling lost and unsure of what’s next is a universal experience and part of being human. We all go through these seasons throughout our lives, and they can feel painful, isolating, and lonely. I used to dread these seasons of life, but recently I’ve found a sense of gratitude for them.
Each time I find myself stuck or craving clarity, I learn something new about myself and also how to use this time most effectively. I’ve created a list of ways you might be able to identify if you’re in the unknown and some practices to help you find clarity and get unstuck.
How Do You Know If You’re Lost in the Unknown?
You might be asking yourself “what does it mean to be stuck?” or “how do I know if I’m in that place?” If you’re feeling stuck or lost, it might just be that you’re not aware that you’re in an in-between season of life.
Key Indicators You Might Be Stuck or Lost in the Unknown
As someone who is always seeking to grow and evolve, I find myself navigating in-between spaces quite often. Over the years and after many visits, I've come to recognize certain patterns and reoccurring thoughts and feelings that arise when I feel lost. If any or all of these resonate, then you could be experiencing an in-between season and might not be aware of it.
You feel the same even after making a big life shift
Have you ever thought “if I just get…, then everything will be different” and then when you finally get what you want, it feels like nothing has changed? I’ve been there, too. The truth is that while making external changes can be helpful, they ultimately cannot shift your internal state of being. Moving to a new city, changing your career, starting a new relationship – these are all great milestones, but can leave you feeling unsatisfied when lacking the clarity that comes from within. If you’ve experienced major life changes, and are still feeling stuck or unfulfilled, then you might be lost in the unknown.
Your days are on the rinse/repeat cycle
Have you ever felt like you’re on the endless loop of waiting until Friday evening so that you can finally feel free only to wake up Sunday with a pit in your stomach?
Do your days and weeks feel repetitive, like you’re on a hamster wheel?
You might have lost your north star and are going through the motions without a clear direction. Finding clarity isn’t necessarily about knowing exactly what’s coming or how your path will unfold. Clarity comes from knowing yourself on a deep level and understanding what drives you forward. Maybe you’ve let life take the wheel for too long, and it’s time to reclaim your life and assert your free will.
There are no future plans you look forward to
Maybe you’ve become complacent and resist making plans because you’re afraid you may not have the energy or you’re not sure what is right around the corner. Or maybe it’s that the known discomfort feels safer than the discomfort of the unknown.
If you find yourself apprehensive about taking steps forward, it might be time to turn inward in order to find clarity.
It feels like life will always be this way
You might feel like no matter how many changes you make or how many times you reinvent yourself, you always come back to the same place. Maybe you’ve tried making external changes like creating new habits, starting over in a new place, or experimenting with new hobbies but your efforts always seem to fall short.
It’s not what you’re doing that is wrong but you might need more clarity on how you take action. Knowing the deeper why behind what you’re doing can make all the difference and help you shift from feeling lost and stuck to empowered and clear.
How do you find the clarity you need to move forward?
Moving toward clarity begins by becoming aware of your surroundings. Being able to identify that you’re feeling stuck or lost is a significant breakthrough that shouldn’t be overlooked or minimized. Once you can identify where you’re at, you’ll be able to determine what kind of support you’ll need moving forward.
Where does clarity come from?
There isn’t a magic wand that clears the fog for you. Clarity comes from self-awareness and self-trust. Whenever I’m feeling lost, I like to come back to a few questions to shift my perspective and uncover what might be under the surface of my stuckness.
You might start by asking yourself these questions or taking some time to journal with them.
How can you come back to who you are?
How can you be even more you?
What is a north star you can use as your guide?
5 Gentle Invitations to Help You Get Unstuck
Once you’ve settled into your unknown space, I recommend getting curious about this season of your life. The key to uncovering your path forward is to approach this time gently and with an open mind.
Take inventory of where you’re at
When was the last time you checked in with yourself? Sometimes when we get swept up in the current of life, we forget to stop and take time to check in with ourselves. It can be a simple practice of reflecting on your week, month, or season. Or maybe you make a date of it and take yourself out for coffee.
If you’re not sure where to start, these questions are a great jumping off point.
What in your life feels like it no longer fits?
Can you name what feels lacking?
I find it most helpful to write everything down. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Make a list or just write down a few words that come to mind. Anything you write down is helpful. Once you get a clearer picture of where you’re at, it’ll be easier to find the next right step. If you’re feeling really stuck, you might take my quiz to help you discover which season of transformation you’re in.
Ask yourself: What am I being called to learn in this season?
Challenges and obstacles in your life are really opportunities for learning, growth, and expansion. This is not to say that you should diminish your feelings, or the difficulties you’re facing. Moving through your emotions is a crucial part of the process, and these challenges are life’s way of shaping you into your next becoming.
If you can uncover what lies beneath the surface of your situation, you will find the key to unlocking your path forward. A tarot practice can be a helpful tool to illustrate the journey you're on and reflect back to you what you might not see.
Set Intentions to ground yourself
Intentions aren’t magic wishes. They’re a tool to help you get clear about who you are and what you want. Think of the ritual or practice of intention setting as setting the tone for your life. How do you want your days to feel? What makes you feel most alive? Taking time to ask yourself these questions and reflect helps to cultivate more overall clarity in your life.
You can use intentions to help you filter through all that life throws at you and use your energy in the best possible way. If you’re not sure how to begin, you might download my free intention setting worksheet to jumpstart your practice.
Create practices that cultivate self-awareness
Feeling lost in the unknown is a great time to turn inward. I find these seasons are the ones where I have the opportunity to get to know myself on a deeper level. When you’re not sure of your next steps and there’s no clear action to take, it might be a sign to look at your inner state of being.
I love journaling as a way to get my thoughts and feelings out so I can make sense of them. If I’m feeling really in the weeds, then I’ll do a tarot spread and journal about the cards that came up. Sometimes giving yourself something to respond to helps unlock what might be trapped inside. If you’re looking for journal prompts to get you started, you might explore my course, 111 Questions to Ask Your Inner Voice.
Regulate and listen to your body
In earlier seasons of transformation, I thought I could push through and bypass how my body felt. Now I know better. Your body holds so much wisdom. It’s constantly communicating with you, and what you learn from tuning in is invaluable. I’m still learning about the most effective ways to tune into the wisdom of my body, but lately I’ve been loving the simple practices offered by The Workout Witch.
She does a beautiful job of combining somatic movement with her pilates background and using her experience to create her courses. She offers a wealth of information on her social media as well if you’re not ready to invest in a course. Going on walks or taking a few minutes to let your body lead are also great ways to tap into the wisdom your body holds. Inviting your body into the conversation and taking time to regulate will help you move through the unknown in a softer way.
Most importantly, I want you to know you’re not alone. If you’re feeling lost and unsure of your next steps, remember to trust that this season is temporary. This isn’t your forever. You are moving through something, and you will find your way.
For comfort, read this essay about my relationship with the unknown.
If you feel ready for support, you can schedule a clarity reading with me or read more about my coaching program, the Shoreline.
Kim Kogane is a writer and intuitive guide helping you navigate the tender in-between seasons. She lives in Seattle, Washington with her dog, Cauchy, and three cats. Learn more about Kim.
