When Presence Becomes The North Star: Looking To Connection When The Journey Feels Lonely
Episode 35: When Presence Becomes The North Star
This episode explores the idea of a North Star or an intention that guides your actions and ways of being. I share how my own North Star is shifting and where I’m heading next in work and in life. Listen to this when you can feel your own energy shifting and are looking for that nudge that you’re heading in the right direction.
Episode Details
Summary
In this episode, I’m reflecting on the idea of a North Star and how the value that has guided me for most of my life is beginning to change. For as long as I can remember, being helpful has been deeply important to me. I have wanted to support others, make things easier, and be someone people could turn to.
Lately, I’ve started to notice that helping does not always need to mean fixing, removing pain, or offering solutions. Sometimes what matters most is simply being present, listening, and creating meaningful ways to spend time together.
I share how this shift is changing the way I think about my work. One-on-one coaching will continue to be part of what I do, but I am also feeling called to create connection through this podcast, writing, future courses, and other experiences that allow us to meet across time and space.
This episode also explores the vulnerability of allowing creative work to be witnessed. My role is not to decide exactly how something should be received or prove why it is valuable. My role is to create, share, and trust that the work will find the people it is meant for.
Grief has taught me that we do not always need advice or answers when we are moving through something difficult. Sometimes we only need someone willing to sit beside us. Your journey is uniquely yours, but you do not have to navigate it without companionship.
As the energy begins to feel lighter, I’m also looking ahead toward fall, new routines, fresh ideas, and a renewed sense of possibility. For the first time in a long while, thinking about the future feels hopeful, creative, and full of room to explore.
This episode is for you if…
You’re feeling alone on your journey and crave a companion or someone to witness what you’re going through
You’re on a grief journey and want to explore how that’s shaping you
You’re navigating a big life transition and are exploring who you’re becoming and what you’d like to create
You’re a creative who’s ready to step into the spotlight and share your work
You’re exploring new ways of being and ready to embrace new ideas and energy shifts
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Welcome to The Shoreline, where we explore the tender in-between seasons of the human experience. My name is Kim, and I'm here to support you as you navigate your next becoming. Here, we don't fix, we listen, we don't rush, we allow. Hello, and welcome to today's episode. If you're new here, I'm so happy that you've made your way to The Shoreline, and if you're returning, welcome back. I'm so glad that you're here. So I want to build on what I spoke about last episode, feeling the energy shifting, starting to feel lighter, letting the heaviness go. And I really want to explore this idea of a North Star. So to me, a North Star is what I use to, to guide myself both in work and in life. It can be a value you hold, something that's important to you, just what kind of keeps you moving forward and the core, almost, meaning behind your actions. And for as long as I can remember, my North Star was being helpful. It's always been really important to me to be of service to others. And I think that has to do with my human design and having what's called a transpersonal karma in human design, which comes from your personality profile. I'm a 6/2, and because the number six is first, and it's a larger number than the two, I have a transpersonal karma. And all that means really is that I'm meant to be of service, and I process by sharing with others, by interacting with others, and other people get something from what I share. And so it's always been really important to me to be helpful. I've been the friend who will take you to the airport or run errands with you, the person you call when you're going through a hard time and need someone to listen. I take my relationships very seriously, and I would say that I'm pretty loyal, and people mean a lot to me, and it's always been a source of pride for me to be helpful and want to help others. I think that where I find myself shifting is just letting go of that idea that, especially in work, that I need to help by fixing or taking away others' pain or try to make things easier or better. And I find myself instead thinking about how I can create meaningful ways for us to spend time together. And I think that this is true both in my personal life and in my work. I find that quality time is something that is really important to me. And in anything I do, I try to be 100% present. And I find that in my work, I'm feeling a shift. And this started when I was thinking about the one-on-one coaching I do and how I spend my time. And really coming to the conclusion that time freedom is very important to me. When I first let go of my jewelry company, I really saw myself wanting to do only one-on-one coaching, maybe group coaching, and have a very full calendar and a full roster of clients. And now I feel like I'm going in a different direction. I think that those one-on-one relationships and working with you one-on-one will always be part of my career, but it's not the primary focus or it's not everything that I do. I want to really focus on creating meaningful ways for us to spend time together and bring variety to that. So yes, that can happen through one-on-one private sessions. I've spoke about that. It happens through this podcast when you listen to an episode, and I think about how we're spending time together when I'm creating the episodes. I'm working on a new idea behind the scenes that will be another way for us to spend time together. And even through just writing and creating blog posts, and even just my website is a way for us to have a meaningful interaction. And so my North Star used to be like, how can I create something that will help you? How can I be helpful? Or how is what I'm sharing important or a value or how does it have wisdom? And now I'm really ready to let that go and just trust that the value is there. If you find it and it resonates with you, then there's value. And if it's not something that you resonate with, that's okay too. You don't have to listen or engage. But my goal is really when I'm creating something to, create that meaningful connection and to create for myself first, because being a creative and making things is just part of who I am as a person, and it's really important for me first and foremost. And then it's also important to allow it to be witnessed by others. And I think that when I had my jewelry company, I became pretty detached to my art, to my jewelry, I was able to put it out into the world without that same like tenderness that I first held. I was able to create a product and detach a little bit and be like, okay, this isn't for everyone, but the people who like it will like it. And it just became easy for me to kind of have that interaction and to sell it and put it out there. And now as I'm shifting and my work is a little bit more personal, especially with writing, I find that that second piece of allowing it to be witnessed by others is challenging. I think I've always kept my writing really close to me and I've shared it in a very controlled way or in a way where I felt like it would be received well. And I'm feeling called to kind of be just more open in general and more free with my sharing and just really put things out into the world and just trust that that is enough. And my job is really to create and share, not to define what the value is or to define how I'm helping or what it's meant to be, right? It's like my goal is really, and my job is really to just be the creator and then put it out there and kind of just trust that it will find the right people and just release it into the world. And I think that this shift is really going to impact just how I work and what I create. And it feels really exciting to feel into this change. And it might not feel like a big, huge change or to you, it might feel obvious like, yeah, like just put your work out into the world. But I think this mindset is a huge shift for me of letting go of this identity of like, I need to be helpful. I need to fix things. I need to make this easier for someone and really just shift into like my presence is enough. I am enough and I don't have to fix anything. And I think that that distinction is important as well because it believes in the other person's strength. It's not about removing your obstacle for you or taking away challenge in your life. It's really about saying like, I can walk alongside you and my presence and having a companion just makes challenge and difficulty feel a little bit lighter. It's like when you're talking to a friend and you're wanting to share something you're going through, and that friend is like, well, have you thought about this? Did you try this? What if you did this? And it's like, that's not what you need. And it's coming from a good place, right? Like they want to take your pain away. They want to be helpful. They want to fix whatever it is you're going through. And on the other side, what you really want is just to be witnessed as you are, and to share what it is you're going through, because you already have the answers, the strength. You have everything you need to get through it. You really just want a companion. And I often feel that way when I'm going through difficulty or navigating obstacles. And I think that grief really taught me this, like especially right after my dad passed away. I found that the grief that I held and the loss that I experienced made some people uncomfortable and they didn't know what to say. And I wanted to say, like, I don't need you to say anything. I just need you to like sit with me because I can't even really express what I'm going through. And it's such a unique and personal experience that there's really nothing anyone can say or do, especially when the loss is so fresh, right? So I really just what I wanted was for people to just like sit with me and be with me. And I think that that's where I'm heading in work, especially in this in-between space that we're in. It's really a personal journey. And I can share from my own in-between space, but my in-between is going to look different than your in-between, right? And there's certain similarities. There are shared experiences. But at the end of the day, your journey is uniquely yours, and I will never fully be able to understand it. But I can share and be there and be a companion and a listening ear for you. And that's what I'm hoping to do, is really going forward, create these meaningful ways for us to spend time together through this podcast, through writing, through potentially like online courses or experiences, just wanting to create that time and space. And maybe it won't look like spending time together in a linear traditional sense. That can happen through one-on-one sessions. But also, I really view this space as a way to spend time together. We're not spending time together at the same time, right? Because I'm recording this and it might not find you right away. It could be a year from now, two years from now, a week after it's posted, whatever it is. We're not spending time in the same linear sense, but we're still together. And when I'm creating, I'm thinking about you and what you're going through and sharing from this place of wanting to create connection. And I think that I hope that intention comes through and I hope that it shapes my work in a meaningful way because it's really important to me to create spaces and opportunities to connect because that's what I think is important. The connection is so important in life. And especially when you're on a growth journey, when you're going through transition, when you're in the in between space, it is lonely out there. And I think that what I've wished I've had in the past is really just some companionship, especially when I'm feeling like I need a lot of alone time. I think that having resources that I can tap into where I feel connected is really important. And I'm hoping to be able to create that for you as you go through your in between space. And so as I navigate this energy shift, I'm feeling the heaviness kind of lift. I'm feeling lighter. I'm also really feeling into this back to school, getting ready for fall energy. I love, I feel like this point in summer, every year I start to think about fall. And I just, I love that energy so much. The idea of gathering your supplies, getting new notebooks, getting a new pen, setting up your schedule, creating new routines, it really brings me so much joy. And as I've been sitting with what is important to me, what busy looks like, how I'm spending my time, I'm really doing kind of an analysis of like, okay, what's working, what's not working, and how can I shape my rituals and routines as I prepare for what's next? And I just love it. I just love like fall energy so much. I'm such a fall person. I love when you can feel the weather change and like the crispness and the air. It's just, it's so magical to me. And so I'm already dreaming about that, even though it is like peak summer energy here in Seattle. I'm already looking ahead and just like tapping into that. And I'm feeling so excited for what's to come. I think for the first time in a long time this week has just been so fulfilling. And at the end of the day, work hasn't felt like work. I've been able to really spend time nurturing some ideas and projects. And I've been feeling just so fulfilled after that. And I'm just excited to be able to share those ideas and projects when it's time. But it just feels really, just feels good. I feel I'm just so grateful for what I've gone through and to get to this place. And I'm really grateful for this kind of reprieve from the challenge. And I know that there are many obstacles ahead, and I'm still very much in an in-between season. But it felt just like, it feels like a nice little break to be able to really tap into joy, to tap into my own creativity, to dream and explore possibilities and think about the future in more of a positive way. I think that grief can really make it difficult to look ahead because you're thinking about everything that's to come that this person won't be part of. And for the first time, I've been able to think about the future in a positive way. And that just feels really healing and really nice. And so that's where I'm at. The energy is shifting. I'm renegotiating my North Star. I'm shifting the energy of that from wanting to be helpful to how can I create meaningful connections? I'm really trying to create for myself and serve my creativity first and foremost. And then allowing it to be witnessed by others by putting it out into the world without caveats and without declaring how it needs to be received. I think there's something that's really freeing about just putting your ideas out there and not thinking about the outcome. And so that's what I have for you today, friends. I hope that you're doing well. I hope that you're also getting to have some time in the smooth waters, if you will. If you are in a period of transition, if you're in the in-between space, and you want to dive deeper into your own inner landscape, or you aren't sure what's next, and you want to explore that, I do offer guidance and support through the Shoreline private coaching sessions. So in those sessions, you'll meet with me one-on-one every week for six months, and there's support available in between sessions. If you're interested in learning more, or you want to explore that, you can find more information or schedule time to chat with me on my website, all of the information is in the show notes for you. So I hope that you take good care while the waves carry you closer, and know that your next version is already waiting on the shore.
If you’re feeling stuck in the foggy middle and exhausted from having to always “figure it out” alone, I want to invite you to…
Explore The Shoreline Private Sessions to find aligned support as you navigate a significant life transition
Use this FREE intention setting worksheet to help you find your north star
Read this blog post to learn more about the power of Human Design
Listen to this visualization when you want to tap into daydream energy and invite more peace and calm into your life
Kim Kogane is a writer and intuitive guide helping you navigate the tender in-between seasons. She lives in Seattle, Washington with her dog, Cauchy, and three cats. Learn more about Kim.
