Coming Back To Basics: Using Self-Love Is Your Anchor During Difficult Seasons
Episode 40: Coming Back To Basics
In this episode I share my experience navigating grief a year and a half after losing my dad and what is most helpful for me when I’m feeling down. I talk about how life can get busy and how easy it is to start to neglect yourself and your needs in small ways and what I’m doing to come back to basics and nourish myself in simple and loving ways.
Episode Details
Summary
In this episode, I’m sharing what it feels like to move through a season where grief, exhaustion, and a long to-do list all seem to arrive at once. The fog is still here, and instead of pretending I’ve handled everything perfectly, I’m reflecting on what actually helps me find my footing when life feels heavy and out of balance.
I share how a simple Pilates session reminded me how powerful it can be to return to the body. After spending so much time in my thoughts and rushing from one thing to the next, intentional movement helped me feel lighter, more present, and a little more connected to myself.
This episode also explores the importance of nourishment and the ways we can unintentionally neglect our basic needs when everything feels urgent. Meals, rest, movement, and journaling can start to feel optional when deadlines are loud, but those quiet practices are often what give us the capacity to meet everything else.
I reflect on the tendency to search for answers outside of ourselves during periods of transition. Sometimes clarity does not come from trying harder or moving faster. Sometimes it comes from allowing the fog to exist while turning down the noise around us and listening more closely to the wisdom of our bodies, intuition, and inner landscape.
I also share how journaling has become a form of thought hygiene for me. It helps clear the mental clutter in the morning and gives me space at night to notice what went well and let the goodness of the day actually sink in.
This is an invitation to return to what is simple and essential. To treat your needs as important, even when they do not come with a deadline. And when life feels especially noisy, to remember that you do not have to effort your way out of the fog. Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is tend gently to what is already here.
This episode is for you if…
You’re on a grief journey and are looking for somatic and intuitive tools to help you navigate the grief
You’re feeling alone in the mess of life and want some comfort and support
You’re out of balance or out of alignment and want to dive into what can be helpful to find grounding again
You're in a season of being busy and want permission to slow down and connect to the present moment
You’re ready to let go of unnecessary responsibilities and step into what feels most supportive for you
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Welcome to The Shoreline, where we explore the tender in-between seasons of the human experience. My name is Kim, and I'm here to support you as you navigate your next becoming. Here, we don't fix, we listen. We don't rush, we allow. Hello and welcome. If you're new here, I'm so happy you've made your way to The Shoreline, and if you're returning, welcome back. I'm so glad that you're here. So last episode, I mentioned just being in a season of deep grief and feeling kind of this fog rolling in, and the fog is still here. And I just wanted to speak a little bit about what it's like to kind of feel that heaviness and to not be able to necessarily see clearly. And what I do when I find myself in spaces like this, I think that especially the last couple of weeks for me, there's been quite a lot of items on my to-do list. Just a lot of things kind of happened all at once for me, which tends to be a pattern in my life. I try to remember that it's not about how quickly can I get everything done, but more how do I take care of myself and how do I navigate these seasons. And I think this is a particularly complex one because I'm feeling this heaviness, I'm feeling the grief, feeling the fog, and at the same time, there are a lot of demands for my energy, for my attention. And I would love to be able to tell you that I handled everything perfectly. I took care of myself. I rested and I got it all done. But that's not really what happened. And it's actually not very interesting if I came to you and just said, well, life was hard and I knew how to deal with it and everything's fine in the end. Because life is just a little bit messier than that. And so here I am, just kind of wanting to share what would I like to do when I'm feeling out of balance and just how sometimes that doesn't work out. And so that's where I'm at today. I was thinking about this because yesterday, I was having a particularly rough day. I've been just pretty tired. I haven't been sleeping well, and so I'm not starting my days with kind of a full battery, if you will. And again, there's lots on my to do list, and I find that I've been just kind of jumping from thing to thing, trying to furiously just cross everything off so I can rest. And so yesterday was a particularly difficult day for me, and it was just packed full in a way that I don't enjoy. And I was feeling just, you know, the thoughts were racing and I was trying to just think of what's next. And then I went to my Pilates session, and we worked on getting my mobility in a better place and just moving really intentionally. And I left that session just feeling so much lighter, and it felt good to be present and back in my body in a way that I hadn't been because I had been really just in my mind and in my thoughts and rushing from thing to thing. And it was so simple to remember that for me specifically, movement is such an important part of my day, of my life. And just the simple act of tending to my body and moving in a gentle and connected and intentional way just helped me let go of a lot of what I was carrying and a lot of the thoughts and the overthinking. And honestly, it was so interesting because I felt even less tired after the session. It's like there was some of that fog just kind of washed away. And then later on that day, I was having a conversation with my mom and she was talking about how she's been feeling better lately. And she reminded me that I'm always telling her that nourishment is so important. And I really haven't been taking care of myself in that way. I've just been grabbing food that's convenient and I haven't been really taking time to be intentional and sit down and actually have my meals. And there's been a little bit of like skipping lunch and then, you know, making it up at dinner or not eating breakfast. And I've just noticed these different ways in which I just haven't been taking care of myself. And I think that it is a really easy pattern to fall into. But the basics are so important and they can really change your perspective. Just the simple act of moving my body. I didn't do anything crazy or intense. I really just was listening to my body and finding that way to connect and really honor where I was at. And then even just thinking about how I was nourishing myself and just taking a little bit of time to rest and say, OK, like, does this actually have to be done right now? Or can I take care of myself so that I feel more prepared to tackle what's coming over to tackle the items on my to-do list? And I was able to just find a little bit of a reset in the fog and in the heaviness. And I woke up today feeling a little bit better, and it didn't 100% solve all of my problems. And I'm still in the fog. I'm still managing a lot of demands for my time and energy. But I felt a little bit more prepared today to tackle those things. And so much of it is just like coming back to the basics, to the nourishment, to honoring and listening to what my body is asking for, and really shifting my perspective, and finding that space that I need, and really just honoring that I am here in a physical body, and that wisdom and those needs need to be honored, just as much as what's going on in my mind and in my thoughts. And I think it can be so easy, especially in a time of transition, whether it's a transitional season or a big life change or whatever it is. I think when we're in transition, it's really easy to start to chase answers and look for answers outside of ourselves. And sometimes we need answers and we need to do that. And I find that a lot of times it's really doing the opposite that is the most beneficial and the most clarifying. I find that being a little bit more still and letting the fog exist around me and coming back to my body and in my simple kind of routines is what helps the fog clear. Like all that stuff around you is going to exist no matter what. And instead of trying to rush and hurry and effort your way out of the fog so that you can see again. Sometimes it's really about doing the opposite and turning inward and finding stillness and saying, hey, there's all this noise around me that I have no control over and can't do anything about. So I'm just going to let it be there and I'm going to tend to my inner landscape and I'm going to listen to my own wisdom. And that's really what The Shoreline is about. And that's really what all of my work is about. It's really that coming back to the wisdom that we all hold for ourselves. And sometimes we just have to let the noise exist around us and kind of turn that volume down while we turn up the volume of our own inner wisdom, whether it's the wisdom of our bodies, the wisdom of our intuition, or our guides, or the wisdom of our mind, whatever it is, sometimes it's just about turning the volume of our surroundings down a little bit and turning up the volume of our own unique voice and perspective. And I think as I'm sharing this, I'm taking this in as a reminder for myself and I'm in a season where there's just a lot of kind of not fun tasks, a lot of things with deadlines, and that's just life, right? But I don't think that having a hard external deadline for something means that the things I need to do for myself that don't have hard deadlines are any less important. And I think this is a really great learning experience for me, that I need to hold my needs as important and as valuable and as necessary. Like, I think that treating my journal practice as something that is just as important as like brushing my teeth in the morning, that's how I want to view it, because it really does change how I feel about my days, and it changes my perspective and the way that I view the world. And it is, it's almost like that. I don't even know what to call it. It's like thought hygiene of just like getting all of those like random thoughts and all of the chaos in my mind, like out in the morning and then at night, using my journaling practice to kind of cement in like the, all of the goodness that I felt. Because I think a lot of times when, when you're in a busy season of life, it's easy to forget all of the little micro moments, all of the little goodness that did happen, because you're focused on the overall feeling of being overwhelmed, of feeling out of balance, of being busy or whatever that looks like for you. And I do think that my journaling practice, and especially at night, I start with, with asking myself, like, what went well today? That practice of just like taking in the good is so important. It's just as important as brushing my teeth, as, as eating a good meal, as, as sleeping and resting. And, and it's, it's just a good reminder that, that we need to take those moments, and not only take time to for joy and for goodness, but to take time to really let it soak in. I think that we can easily just move from thing to thing without really truly letting that good into our system. And our nervous systems need that, especially when you're in a season of transition, especially maybe you're like me, and you're in a season where there's this thick fog, or you're feeling grief, or you're feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list, that's when you need to take in the good even more, because it will help just counterbalance all of the chaos and the noise. And so that's what I'm going to take with me as I continue on in my week. I'm really going to just come back to what is simple and essential for myself. So that means really trying to be good about sleep hygiene and getting enough rest, nourishing myself well with good food and not seeing meals as something that are skippable or that fit in, but making them kind of a destination in my day. I'm going to do my journaling and really clear my brain at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day, remind myself of all of the good that I was able to take in. And see how that might change where I'm at. And I'll be curious to check back in with you and share how it goes. That's where I'm at. And I'm curious to know what is present for you and where you're at right now in your season of life. If you feel called to share, you're always welcome to send me a message. You can email me, you can send me a message on Instagram, whatever feels good for you. And so that's what I have for you today. I just want you to know that if you are wanting to dive deeper into your own inner landscape, or maybe you're looking for a space to kind of build some new tools in your tool belt so that when you are in more challenging seasons, you feel really solid in what you need. Or maybe you're navigating a big transition and you're not sure what's next. Wherever you're at, I want you to know that I offer guidance and support through the Shoreline private coaching sessions. In those sessions, you meet with me one-on-one every week for six months with support available in between sessions. The sessions are completely customized for you. We can dive in to intuition, astrology, human design, somatic practices, whatever you're feeling called to and whatever support you want to call in. I'm happy to bring that forward. So if that's something that you're interested in, you can find more information or schedule a time to chat with me on my website, and the link is in the show notes. And so I hope that you take good care while the waves carry you closer and know that your next version is already waiting on the shore.
If you’re feeling stuck in the foggy middle and exhausted from having to always “figure it out” alone, I want to invite you to…
Explore The Shoreline Private Sessions to find aligned support as you navigate a significant life transition
Use this FREE intention setting worksheet to help you find your north star and get clear about your path forward
Read this blog post to discover the easiest way to make your day better when life feels overwhelming
Listen to this visualization when you want to invite more peace and calm into your life and use a somatic practice to come back to your body and the present moment
Kim Kogane is a writer and intuitive guide helping you navigate the tender in-between seasons. She lives in Seattle, Washington with her dog, Cauchy, and three cats. Learn more about Kim
