Letting It Be For You: Learning To Live In the Unknown With Self-Compassion
Episode 20: Letting It Be For You
This episode explores the idea of detachment and how a simple shift in perspective can bring about more gratitude and joy. I share my experience of letting something go and how I navigate the aftermath of a big decision.
Episode Details
Summary
In this episode, I’m reflecting on what has unfolded since letting go of teaching and how that decision has created more space, clarity, and gratitude in my life. What once might have felt like a failure now feels like an essential part of the journey, a path I needed to walk in order to fully understand what is and isn’t meant for me.
I share how this experience has led me into a deeper period of self reflection, where old patterns and questions have begun to surface. One of the biggest realizations has been noticing how easy it is for me to show up when something is in service of others, and how much more challenging it can be to stay committed to something that is just for me, especially when it comes to my writing practice.
Rather than rushing to fix or solve this pattern, I’m allowing myself to sit with it, to get curious, and to explore what it might be asking of me. I’m also leaning into a new intention of practicing both devotion and detachment. Devotion in showing up consistently to what matters, and detachment in releasing the need for a specific outcome.
I also open up about my relationship with intuition and the moments where I find myself wanting to disconnect, even when I feel deeply connected. This push and pull has led me to think more about how we relate to the different parts of ourselves, especially the ones that feel protective or afraid.
This episode is an invitation to hold all parts of yourself with compassion. The parts that feel aligned and open, and the parts that feel uncertain or resistant. They all belong, and they all have something to offer as you continue to grow.
This episode is for you if…
You’re feeling self-judgement come up because you’re not sure what’s next for you
You’re learning to be more self-compassionate and are looking for reassurance
You’re letting go of needing a specific outcome and learning to enjoy the process of life
You’re getting curious about you inner landscape and learning to hold all parts of yourself
You recently let something go and are sitting in the aftermath of make a hard decision
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In this episode, I'm reflecting on what has unfolded since letting go of teaching and how that decision has created more space, clarity, and gratitude in my life. What once might have felt like a failure now feels like an essential part of the journey, a path I needed to walk in order to fully understand what is and isn't meant for me. I share how this experience has led me into a deeper period of self reflection, where old patterns and questions have begun to surface. One of the biggest realizations has been noticing how easy it is for me to show up when something is in service of others, and how much more challenging it can be to stay committed to something that is just for me, especially when it comes to my writing practice. Rather than rushing to fix or solve this pattern, I'm allowing myself to sit with it, to get curious, and to explore what it might be asking of me. I'm also leaning into a new intention of practicing both devotion and detachment. Devotion in showing up consistently to what matters, and detachment in releasing the need for a specific outcome. I also open up about my relationship with intuition and the moments where I find myself wanting to disconnect, even when I feel deeply connected. This push and pull has led me to think more about how we relate to the different parts of ourselves, especially the ones that feel protective or afraid. This episode is an invitation to hold all parts of yourself with compassion. The parts that feel aligned and open, and the parts that feel uncertain or resistant. They all belong, and they all have something to offer as you continue to grow. Kim Kogane is a writer and intuitive guide helping you navigate the tender in-between seasons of life. She lives in Seattle, Washington, with her dog Cauchy and three cats. Learn more about Kim. Newsletter Work with Kim Instagram –– ✦
APRIL 14, 2026 · 22 MIN
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In this episode, I'm reflecting on a recent experience that challenged my understanding of alignment. We often think of alignment as something that feels easy, flowing, and forward moving, but sometimes it leads us down a path that ultimately comes to an end. And that, too, can be part of the process. I share my journey of returning to teaching through Pilates after stepping away from being a barre instructor. What initially felt aligned and supported quickly shifted into something that no longer felt true. Even with external validation and positive feedback, I found myself feeling drained, disconnected, and out of alignment with how I wanted to spend my time. Through this experience, I realized that the lesson wasn't to push through or prove something to myself. The real growth came from recognizing when something was no longer right and having the courage to walk away. Choosing to leave, even when I was close to finishing what I started, became an act of self-trust and self-respect. I also reflect on how revisiting this path gave me the closure I didn't have before. Without stepping back into that role, I might have always wondered if I had made the wrong choice. Instead, I now feel a deep sense of clarity and peace, along with a renewed appreciation for the space and rhythm of my life as it is now. Kim Kogane is a writer and intuitive guide helping you navigate the tender in-between seasons of life. She lives in Seattle, Washington, with her dog Cauchy and three cats. Learn more about Kim. Newsletter Work with Kim Instagram –– ✦
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In this episode, I'm building on last week's tarot reading and exploring a deeper layer of what it means to step out of hiding. While the raccoon card often speaks to creativity and artistic expression, I felt called to focus on another aspect of that message, the intuitive gifts we carry and the ways we sometimes keep them hidden. I share more about my own journey with intuition and how that connection has evolved over time. While I've always been sensitive and tuned in, it took years of exploration, practice, and openness to fully acknowledge and trust that inner wisdom. Tools like tarot became a bridge, helping me understand how that connection speaks and how to receive it more clearly. In this episode, I walk through some of the ways our inner wisdom communicates with us. For some, it shows up through visuals, like images or scenes unfolding. For others, it comes through words, whether that's an inner voice or through writing and journaling. And for many, it's felt through the body, in subtle sensations, emotions, or physical signals that guide and affirm what is true. I also reflect on how important it is to build a relationship with your own intuition before trying to share it outwardly. Strengthening that connection creates a sense of trust and grounding, which makes it easier to step forward and express what you are receiving in a way that feels aligned and authentic. This episode is an invitation to gently explore your own intuitive gifts, whatever form they may take. You don't have to rush or have all the answers. It can begin with curiosity, with openness, and with allowing yourself to acknowledge that this part of you exists. Kim Kogane is a writer and intuitive guide helping you navigate the tender in-between seasons of life. She lives in Seattle, Washington, with her dog Cauchy and three cats. Learn more about Kim. Newsletter Work with Kim Instagram –– ✦
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Welcome to The Shoreline, where we explore the tender in-between seasons of the human experience. My name is Kim, and I'm here to support you as you navigate your next becoming. Here, we don't fix, we listen. We don't rush, we allow. Hello, and welcome to today's episode. If you're new here, I'm so happy to have you, and if you've been listening before, welcome back. I'm so glad you're here. So last week, I spoke about kind of alignment, not always looking like flow, and my personal journey of letting go of my Pilates certification and letting go of teaching. And I just wanted to kind of reflect back on that a little bit and what's happened since I fully let it go. It's been a couple of weeks now that I haven't been teaching, and I just have so much more appreciation and gratitude for the extra spaciousness in my week. And I really just feel like so clear and solid in that decision, and knowing that it was the right one for me. And also at the same time, I don't see it as a failure at all. I feel very much like I needed to go down that path. I needed to reach that dead end in order to know that it wasn't for me, and I wouldn't have the level of clarity that I have right now. If I hadn't done that, I think I always would have wondered like what if, or maybe that could have been for me. And now I know for sure that my path is taking me in a different direction. And so I just wanted to bring this up in case there's something in your life that maybe you've explored and have had to pivot from, or if there's something that you're like, I'm curious about this, but I'm not sure. And yeah, just for you to know that there's no such thing as a failure, and detours and distractions and these dead end paths are also just an important part of the journey. So, you know, there's always something to learn, and we can always approach life with curiosity, and those lessons, that clarity, that knowing is so valuable, and it doesn't really matter what the end result is. It's really what you take from the situation. So I just wanted to share that and kind of wrap that up for you. And since last week, I've been really just going through a deep time of personal reflection. Some old wounds have been surfacing, some deep patterns of mine, and I've just been kind of sitting with them and trying to process and understand myself on a deeper level. And I've been really working to kind of like call in and declare like what I really want for myself and my future. One of the biggest patterns that have surfaced for me recently is really just this idea that I can give my energy to something and it can be just for me. I think that I have a tendency to be able to do things if they are in service of others, but it's really hard for me to stay accountable and to follow through on something when it's just for me. And so, I've been really thinking about like, why is that and where does that come from and how is that keeping me from moving forward? And I think the biggest area that it's showing up in is in my writing. And in my weeks, it's really easy for me to put things on the calendar and when someone else is involved, whether it's like a coaching session or a meeting or even going to a Pilates class, when there's external accountability, I really take those commitments very seriously and I show up to them and I work my schedule around them. Same thing for walking my dog, Koshi. It's really important to me that she has enrichment and that she gets to live a really beautiful life. And so I take those walks very seriously and I make sure that I carve out time every day just for her. And I've noticed that while I set the intention to have time to write, to work on my novel, to just kind of, you know, tend to my writing practice, I always intend to carve out that time, but it doesn't always happen. And I've tried in the past to to like have dedicated time on my calendar for writing. And I find that I have a really hard time sticking to that, or I'll see that block on my calendar, and I see it as something that is flexible, or at least more flexible than something that has someone else involved or external accountability. And it's just really interesting to kind of sit with that and think about like, wow, like, why, what is it about doing something that's just for me that is difficult? And why can I not see that as the same level of like, busy or important as like something else? And so I've just been kind of sitting with it. I really don't have any answers for you or for myself, but I'm just trying to kind of hold this out in front of me and really just examine it and think about it and just sit with it without trying to be like, I need to find a solution right away, or like I need to find an external accountability. It's just, it's more like, wow, this is a really interesting aspect of myself, and I wonder why that is and, you know, how that might be helping me or not helping me as I move forward, or is it something I want to take with me as I move forward? Or even like, what am I being called to learn from it? So I've really just been sitting with it and thinking about like, what if I put time on my calendar, that's just my sacred writing time, and I was just, I allowed myself to be unavailable, and what could that look like? And how might that shift my creativity and my writing practice? So I think moving forward, especially in the realm of creativity, I want to really practice both devotion and detachment. Devotion meaning I want to show up consistently to this thing that's really important to me and be really dedicated to it. And detachment in the sense of I'm releasing the need for a specific outcome. Yes, I would love to finish my novel, to publish something, but that's not why I write, and that's not why I'm showing up necessarily. Creating something is really just a by-product of the practice of writing and creativity. So going forward, I'm declaring that that devotion and detachment, and I'm going to continue to explore this part of me that has a really hard time doing things that are just for me, or taking that time really seriously. And so I'm hoping that as I move forward, I'll learn more about myself and learn more about that part of myself and just see what unfolds. Another part that has been really interesting lately, as I've been reflecting and diving deeper with myself, is actually my relationship to the universe, and my intuition, and my entire kind of spiritual life. I feel like I am at this point, I've been doing this work for a long time, and I'm very in tune. I feel like I have a very strong connection. But then there's part of me that really likes to go offline. So I'll get really tapped in, and it's like once that connection feels super strong, and I'm receiving my signs, and I'm having this conversation with the universe, I'm listening to my intuition, I'm starting to manifest things. Once it gets a little bit too intense, there's part of me that wants to go offline. And it's kind of like I have one foot out the door, and then I want to turn off the connection, which is so funny because that's actually not possible, right? The connection is always there, it's always around. And so it's almost, I imagine, like an ostrich trying to stick their head in the sand. And I feel like I do that of like, oh my gosh, like none of this exists, it's not real, like I'm going to go back to the way that things were. Which is funny because there's really no going back. Like you can't unsee something, you can't unlearn or unknow what you've already learned. And so there really is no going back. We're always moving forward, but there's that part of me that thinks that I can and I'll have these moments of going offline and kind of trying to interrupt the connection. And what's really happening is that I'm just interrupting my own flow. I'm not going offline, I'm not going backwards. I'm just kind of like stopping my flow and getting in my own way. Which is honestly pretty silly, but here we are. It's a part of me. And so I've been trying to just think about like, okay, like what aspect of me is like wanting this? Or like, why is this, what is the motivation behind this part's desire to feel disconnected? Like, what's that about? It's about just getting curious, right? It's not about needing to fix or change or make that part of me go away. It's more just like, oh, that's really interesting. Like, let's learn more about that. Let's dive a little bit deeper and see what this part has to say. And so I really don't have any clarity for you yet. This is something that's really happening in real time for me. But I just wanted to bring it up and share it. I just felt really called to share and be, like, really just honest with what's going on for me right now. It's so funny because there's, you know, at the same time that I'm examining this part that really wants to kind of go back or go off line or break the connection, I've also been receiving so many little nudges. I feel like, especially like tarot, astrology, intuition has been present for me more than ever. Yeah, I wonder if like these two things might be, might be related and maybe this part that is like wanting to break up the connection is just feeling a little bit scared and might just need to be held. I love thinking about, there's a poem by Rumi called The Guest House. And if you haven't read it or if you're not familiar, I highly recommend going and looking up The Guest House by Rumi. It is one of my favorite poems, but the essence of the poem is kind of that like all, all of our emotions are just like guests, they're temporary visitors, and it's our job to really like invite them in, to kind of host them, knowing that at some point, they are going to move on, and we'll welcome like a new emotion, and we don't know how long they're going to stay, but they all are temporary guests. And I like to extend that to kind of this parts work, and know that like all of these parts of us deserve, you know, the same treatment. The part of me that's really scared to move forward deserves a really nice guest room, just like, you know, the part of me that I really maybe value and prioritize more, like the one that's more connected to my intuition. Like they are all parts of me, and they all deserve to be treated well and with kindness and compassion. It's the same for emotions. Like joy and fear can belong in the same guest room. Like fear doesn't need to be like hidden in like a coat closet or like pushed into the attic. Like we can welcome it and say like, thank you so much for being here. And like here is this really nice little guest room for you to spend time in. And it's that, you know, all of our emotions are valid. All of our experiences are valid. All of the parts of us, it can all coexist, right? And it's not about ranking them. It's about welcoming it all in, because at the end of the day, it's all part of who you are. And so it's interesting to see, and as I'm kind of reflecting to you in real time, like, of course it makes sense that the part of me that's really scared of going down this path of becoming even more spiritual, even more connected to the universe, the part of me that really wants to share my intuitive gifts with the world, the other part of me would come forward that's really fearful and that is scared of what might happen if I do that. And there's maybe some wounding there, or maybe it's that I feel a little bit more exposed, or just like I might be judged for it. And I really just want to honor that part that's scared and that wants to protect me from whatever it thinks might happen. And that's a really important part of me to have. It's really nice to know that there's part of me that wants to be protective and treat my intuition and my relationship to the universe as a really tender, sacred thing. And I know I'm being called to grow and to lead in a new way. So I can take that fear with me, and I can tell that part like, hey, it's okay that you're scared. I am so grateful that you're trying to protect me. And like, this is where we're going, and like, let's go together, and we can go at a pace that, that maybe is just like a little bit uncomfortable. We don't have to be fully in like jumping off of a cliff fear mode. It can be like just a little bit uncomfortable and like lean into that, and it can allow myself to blossom and bloom in a gentle way. Yeah, and I think that's, that's really valuable information to know like, okay, I'm going to take this one step at a time. I'm going to practice my devotion and detachment, and I'm going to continue to show up and share what, you know, what's going on for me and the nudges that I'm feeling, and that, you know, there's, there's this fear and this protective energy coming forward, and it's all welcome. And I want to extend that to you as well and just share that, like, all of your parts are welcome as well, and they're what make you you and what make you unique and special, not just the things that you see as gifts or positive. It's all aspects of you that are really important and really special and sacred. And I wonder if you might be able to, to hold some of those parts that you see as maybe being a little bit less desirable, can you hold them in the same tender way that you hold the part of you that feels like a really, you know, a really beautiful gift, because they're all beautiful gifts. And so, yeah, that's kind of what's been on my mind lately. And I think going forward, I want to continue to learn about myself, and I'm going to practice my devotion and detachment when it comes to being creative and writing and just see what unfolds. And so that's what I have for you today. And if you're feeling called to kind of explore and learn more about yourself on a deeper level, maybe you're in kind of an in-between space, or maybe you just have a desire to dive deeper, I want to encourage you to maybe think about whether or not you might want some support. And if you do, I would love to chat with you. We can learn more about you and your next unfolding through a tarot reading, and you can always schedule time to chat with me. You can find the link to my calendar on my website, or it's also in the show notes. And so I hope you take good care while the waves carry you closer and know that your next version is already waiting on the shore.
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Kim Kogane is a writer and intuitive guide helping you navigate the tender in-between seasons. She lives in Seattle, Washington with her dog, Cauchy, and three cats. Learn more about Kim.
