The Dream Life That Is Already Here: Letting Go Of How Things Should Be To Create Room For What Is Most Fulfilling
Episode 33: The Dream Life That Is Already Here
This episode is an exploration of my relationship to my dream life and the distinction between a dream life and a fantasy life. I share where I’m at, and what makes me excited to wake up in the morning. Listen to this when you need a little inspiration or permission to create the life of your dreams.
Episode Details
Summary
In this episode, I’m reflecting on the difference between a dream life and a fantasy life. After listening to a podcast episode about designing your dream life, I found myself asking what my own dream life really looks like and whether I have been chasing something far away or overlooking what is already here.
As I journaled through that question, I realized that so many pieces of my dream life already exist. That realization shifted something in me. Instead of focusing only on what is missing, I began to see how much fulfillment, beauty, and alignment are already present in the life I’m living now.
I also share how grief, funkiness, and feeling stuck in routine can make it easy to move through the days on autopilot. When creativity starts to feel like something I have to do instead of something I get to do, the magic begins to fade. This episode explores the importance of returning to joy, spaciousness, and the kind of daily rhythm that lets life feel alive again.
I reflect on my desire for more space in my days and how difficult that can feel in a culture that glorifies busyness, productivity, and constant movement. What I’m craving right now is time freedom, quiet, creativity, and room for small, unexpected moments of magic.
This episode is also about honoring where I am in this season. I may not have big summer travel plans or a packed calendar, but I am living in a home I love, surrounded by my animals, the water, the mountains, and the life I worked so hard to create. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay close to what feels nourishing and true.
This is an invitation to look honestly at your own dream life. What parts of it are already here? What are you still moving toward? And what might shift if you allowed your days to feel less like a checklist and more like a life you actually get to live?
This episode is for you if…
You’re feeling stuck and want to take steps toward creating the life of your dreams
You’re in a time of deep transformation and are looking for inspiration on how to move forward
You’re ready to build a life you truly love
You’re curious about how Human Design works and how it can support you
You’re ready to let go of guilt and the “shoulds” in your life in pursuit of what brings the most joy and fulfillment
Related Episodes
Choosing Gratitude Over Guilt - Letting Go Of Effort To Make Space For Ease
Letting It Be For You: Learning To Live In The Unknown With Self-Compassion
Inviting Magic Into The Everyday - How To Bring More Presence And Joy Into Your Day
When Life Pulls You Toward A New Shore - Beginning Again And Exploring The In-Between Space After An Unexpected Life Transition
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Welcome to The Shoreline, where we explore the tender in-between seasons of the human experience. My name is Kim, and I'm here to support you as you navigate your next becoming. Here, we don't fix, we listen, we don't rush, we allow. Hello, and welcome to today's episode. If you're new here, I'm so happy you've made your way to The Shoreline, and if you're returning, welcome back. I'm so glad that you're here. So last episode, I spoke about just how I've been reflecting back and thinking about how I built my jewelry company and the first bit of my career, and where I'm at now, and how that methodology and the way that I built my jewelry company is not what is going to bring me success and fulfillment as I rebuild my life and my career and dive deeper into The Shoreline. And I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and just thinking about my vision for my future and what I want to build. And I actually rediscovered a podcast that I really enjoyed. I've been following the blog, A Beautiful Mess, for a long time, and they kind of fell off my radar for a while. But then they recently started podcasting again, and I stumbled upon their podcast, and I listened to the episode called Designing Your Dream Life. And it was really a helpful listen. In the podcast, one of the hosts said, Your dream life is not a fantasy life. And that really struck me. It's something that really stuck with me, and it got me thinking, like, am I chasing a fantasy, or am I trying to build something that feels like a dream and is also real? And I think what they meant by that was just that a dream life is, it's real. There are going to be ups and downs. It's not going to be perfect, but it is something that will be deeply fulfilling and bring you lots of joy and happiness. And I was thinking about this idea of a fantasy life and how when I'm dreaming and thinking about the future and visioning, I think it's really easy to paint a picture of like, oh, if I get X, Y, and Z, then everything will be perfect. I'll be happy. I'll be living my dream. And I think that distinction between dream life and fantasy life is really beneficial. And so after listening to this podcast, I did some journaling and I just asked myself what does my dream life look like? And I just made a list of all of the things that it would include. And then when I looked at the list, I realized that more than half of it already existed. And that really shifted my perspective. Because I think especially I've mentioned lately, I've been going through a lot of grief, I've been feeling kind of down, I was in a funk, and my relationship to joy has kind of changed with my grief. And I've just been kind of going through it. And when I looked at the list that I made and I realized that a lot of the components of my dream life actually are part of my life now, it felt really nice and it really shifted how I thought about my life. It was kind of like, okay, like what of these things that aren't part of my life right now? Which ones are the most important? And like, what's really missing? What's keeping me from feeling like I'm living my dream life? So that's where I kind of landed. And I've been thinking about that a lot of like, what am I craving? What do I want? And what do I feel like is missing? And I'm not saying like I need every day to be perfect and happy. I think what I'm really looking for is deep fulfillment and satisfaction at the end of my days. And I know I've been talking about human design a lot, but I find human design to be really useful in when I'm trying to kind of self-reflect and understand myself on a deeper level. And this need for fulfillment and satisfaction really is built into my chart. My energy type in human design is a generator, and that's one of the key characteristics of being a generator. It's like you really want to feel like you used up all of your energy in the day, and you spent time doing things that excite you and fulfill you. And it's like that feeling of like wanting to go to bed, feeling like you lived really well that day. And especially because I've been in kind of a funk, I've been going through grief, I feel like a lot of the days, like I'm just letting time pass and I'm getting swept up in routines, and I'm present in some ways, but I feel like I'm not really living. It's like the difference between living and just existing and kind of going through the motions. And I feel like lately, I've been just kind of going through the motions and thinking about what I don't have, especially when it comes to my writing and my creativity and just kind of feeling like, oh my gosh, am I ever gonna finish my novel? I don't even feel like writing right now. And thinking of it as something I have to do rather than something I get to do. And I think that perspective shift is so crucial. And it's such a part of this idea of living a dream life, of wanting to wake up excited to start the day and to say, I get to do all of these things instead of like, oh my gosh, I have this list of things that I have to get done today. And it just kind of, for me, it really just takes the fun and the joy out of it. It's so funny because I love a to do list. I make lists. I have tons of notes in my phone are just lists of everything. And when I do that, when I think of my days in terms of a checklist, it really does, it kind of takes the magic out of, like, the day for me, it feels like, oh, like, it's just going to go according to this checklist, and I'm going to go from thing to thing without any surprise or delight. And it can start to feel really heavy. And so I've been thinking about that and thinking about, like, the structure of my days and my weeks and what's important to me. And I just, I think more than anything, I keep coming back to this idea of wanting a lot of space in my days. And it's something that I'm really trying to come to terms with, especially in American culture and how the hustle and working hard and being busy, it's like so pushed on us. And it's really hard to choose to live a different way and to let go of that, especially when you've spent so much time wanting to feel like the approval. And I'm someone who's wanted that. I've been a people pleaser and it's like, I want to feel like I'm part of that hustle culture. But it really is, it's taking away something that is really important to me, which is my time freedom. I want time and space in my day for magic, for unexpected little adventures, for creativity and to write. And in order to really create from a true and authentic place, it requires just space and quiet and no other input. And that really goes against kind of this hustle culture and how fast the world is moving, especially now with technology and how we have access to so much information all the time. It can be really hard to like disconnect and disengage from that. And it activates that kind of fear of like missing out on something or being behind. But thinking about my dream life and thinking about what's important to me, it really has changed how I'm looking at my days and what I want to do and how I want to structure my days and weeks and use my time. And it's really put into perspective that this spaciousness is important to me. And so I've been sitting with that and thinking like, OK, can I stand and be so grounded in that belief and that desire that I can kind of let go of any sort of judgment that might come up from it? In a sea of busyness, can I be the one to stand out and say, I'm not that busy? Or to really, to not feel bad about having space in my days and to use my time the way that I want, and to trust that I'm on the path that's right for me. And so I think especially with it being summer, and especially where I live in Seattle, summer is a very hectic time. I think everyone is trying to soak up as much sun as they can to be out and about and going on trips and being outside. And I've noticed in myself that I'm getting really overwhelmed and overstimulated very quickly. And I have to be really selective about what I say yes to. And I find that I really want to just spend my time at home. I have a beautiful home. I'm surrounded by animals who I love. I have the best view of the water and the mountains and a wonderful deck and backyard. And there's really no other place I'd rather be right now. And I've noticed that when I'm out in the world and people ask me if I have any trips planned or what I'm doing for the summer, I start to feel a little self-conscious about my lack of plans. But I'm actually really happy about it. I feel like I'm living the way that I'm meant to and I'm using my time the way that I want to that aligns with where I'm at right now. And I think that especially when you're on a grief journey, the world is really overstimulating. And when you're going through deep personal transformation and when your inner world is so alive and you're processing a lot, like being out in the world can be just a lot and overstimulating. And I've noticed when I've been in other in between seasons and going through a lot of transformation, I've needed a lot more time and space to myself. I feel like that's just part of the journey, part of the process. And that's where I'm at right now. I feel like I just want to be home. I'm a homebody. I love it because I'm living in my dream home. Like I've created this dream for myself, and now I get to be here. And it's something that I really should be cherishing and not feeling self-conscious about, because there's nothing wrong with spending my time that way. And I just have been feeling this external pressure to want to, I don't even know what it is, but I just feel a little bit self-conscious about like my lack of travel plans, and especially because I used to really travel quite a bit. And I think it's okay to say like, that's not where I'm at right now. And so that's where I'm at. I'm really trying to just ground into my truth and to just own it. And I feel like the more that I'm able to connect to what is true and authentic for me, the easier it is to share from that place. And I feel like that feeling of being self-conscious will just kind of melt away. I think it really just, that discomfort, it just takes time to work through. And this transition is still new for me. But yeah, that's where I'm at. And the parts of my dream life, the things on the list that haven't come to fruition yet, I'm actively working towards them. I think writing is a big one. And last episode, I spoke about how kind of diving into resources and wanting to like better myself was not really the way forward. And this week, I've been thinking about how I can best support myself. And I think that what I'm really craving is just more structure in that regard. And finding that balance between having quiet and spaciousness and also just consistency and structure. And so I'm still just kind of in the phase of like reflecting and seeing what I'm drawn to and kind of experimenting with how I spend my time and what times of day I want to write and what feels supportive versus what feels draining. And so when I have answers, I'll share them with you, but I really don't right now. And I'm hoping that, you know, as we get closer to fall, maybe there will be an energetic shift and I'll just feel naturally more drawn to wanting to write more. And I'm really just trying to enjoy summer and take the space when I have it and nurture my ideas and just see what comes of it all. So, that's where I'm at for you. And that's what I have for you today. I want you to know if you are feeling like you want to dive deeper into your own inner landscape, or you're navigating a big transition, or going through big transformation, and you're not sure what's next. I offer guidance and support through the Shoreline private coaching sessions. In those coaching sessions, you'll meet with me one on one every week for six months with support available in between sessions. If that's something you're curious about or interested in, you can find more information or schedule a time to chat with me on my website. The website is in the show notes. And so I hope you take good care while the waves carry you closer and know that your next version is already waiting on the shore.
If you’re feeling stuck in the foggy middle and exhausted from having to always “figure it out” alone, I want to invite you to…
Explore The Shoreline Private Sessions to find aligned support as you navigate a significant life transition
Use this FREE intention setting worksheet to help you find your north star
Read this blog post to learn how to shift the energy of your day in one simple step
Listen to this podcast episode from A Beautiful Mess for more reflections on how to design your dream life
Kim Kogane is a writer and intuitive guide helping you navigate the tender in-between seasons. She lives in Seattle, Washington with her dog, Cauchy, and three cats. Learn more about Kim.
